About Us

Hi - I'm Michelle, a mom to two beautiful boys - one in college, and one in heaven. I want you to know you are not alone, for whatever the reason that brings you to this website. The pages I'm putting together to help others, shares what I've sadly had to learn about my own son's addiction to marijuana and the danger of youth access, his death by a fentapill, and my own grief and activism since Trevor's death. There are many more angles of these horrific topics out there, and I cannot cover everything. However, if you can use the trusted guidance of my own experience, strength, and hope after loss, I hope this website helps you. We are not alone in this.

I’ve been a serial volunteer for most of my life, as well as a Connector. From high school and college clubs, to alumni groups (where I met my husband), book club, a "Flick Chicks" group, and lately, a grief group under the Nar-Anon umbrella, I am often the creator of groups where I love to help and connect like-minded people.

When Trevor was in active addiction, this was his story to tell, but an underground network of helpers directed many families to me, and I was grateful to connect with the parents who were going through the disease of addiction in their underage child. And, they all agreed it was so good to know they were not alone in their crises.

After four years of insanity caused by Trevor's cannabis use disorder and resulting addiction, my beautiful boy died on November 17, 2019, in his dorm room at Sonoma State, after ingesting a street pill that was a lethal dose of 3 types of fentanyl. His unformed brain caused the neurons to search out a higher high after being introduced to cannabis at age 14 while in high school. He will forever be 18 years old, and our family’s life has been irreparably changed by his cannabis use disorder and subsequent choices. I now want to do all I can to honor his memory by preventing other teens from becoming statistics like Trevor, and to stop any other mothers from feeling the lifelong grief of losing your son at age 18 - or any age.

Since his death last year, I have been an outspoken advocate against youth use of marijuana – particularly the facts which led to Trevor’s addiction and ultimate death:

  • Potency. I encourage people to learn about the strength of today’s marijuana – it is not “just pot”.

  • Biology. How the brain is not fully formed until age 25 in most young adults, and the likelihood for addiction increases to 1 in 6 for youth using marijuana when starting before the brain has reached adulthood.

  • Gateway. Today’s marijuana leads many young people in search of a higher high.

  • Suicide. How marijuana use in young adults increases suicide ideation seven-fold (additionally, toxicology results in suicides show a 10% increase in marijuana since legalization in CO.)

I have nothing against medical marijuana use, and was made fully aware of its benefits as a breast cancer patient in 2019. I have no problems with responsible adults’ use of marijuana.

Additionally, we made the decision to publicly share that Trevor died from fentanyl poisoning, in order to raise awareness of this growing tragedy. Yes, Trevor was addicted to pot, and experimented with other drugs, which ultimately caused his death because of fentanyl in what is estimated in 25% of all street pills. Since his death 18 months ago, I have seen a paradigm shift in fentanyl poisoning deaths, in part spurred by bored teens during COVID, in part by drug dealers now on social media, especially Snapchat, where many lives are cut short from a fentapill. Sadly, there is now a paradigm shift in fentanyl-related deaths, and I have seen too often that one pill can kill - even if it's their first or second time experimenting with drugs - and I have seen parents grieving their children as young as 12 who died from a fentapill. Teens should learn from their experiences, not die from them.

I thought I would have to teach my son about the world...

I didn't think I would end up teaching the world about my son.

After 18 months of wondering what path I should choose to honor Trevor's life, I received a beautiful gift from my angel Trevor on Mother's Day 2021: the realization that I was already doing what I was meant to do, connecting people in this community, to honor his life with action. I had already been connecting people with the information, helpers, and resources that might help, since the start of this journey, and to show that his death was not in vain, I continue to do so.

There are so many things to do around any aspect of helping our children from marijuana and other drug use - I am limiting my focus to the two topics I have learned first-hand; the harms of youth marijuana use, and street pills containing fentanyl. Thank you for being here - and thank you for helping me use Trevor's voice to help others.

We are not alone.

-Michelle

Trevor's Mom - Forever 18 from a fentapill

RIP Trevor, 1/30/01-11/17/19

Email me to connect: michelle@wearenotalone.community